The D-Cup Caper

About 50 bras were stolen last week from a Victoria's Secret Store in Fairfield. That's almost enough bras to cover all the boobs that occupy the Connecticut General Assembly.

From the Connecticut Post:

Lt. Michael Walsh said the bras, of the brassiere variety, were valued at a total of about $4,000 — the third such theft at the store in three weeks.

On Oct. 11, Victoria's Secret reported the theft of seven to eight drawers full of reversible bras, with a total value of $2,500, and Oct. 5, the lingerie store reported the theft of 100 bras, from its pink collection, valued at $4,000, police said.

I wasn't really aware of advent of reversible bras. Thank God this hasn't come into vogue for men's underpants. Of course, in college I knew some people who didn't feel underwear was dirty until you had used both sides.

Anyway, the theft of these bras is clearly a series of anti-breast hate crimes, and I expect the General Assembly to ge to work immediately, increasing the penalties for bra-related crimes.

Or perhaps I have it all wrong... perhaps this is the work of fanatic feminist leftists who still adhere to the notion that if you wear a bra, you're somehow killing trees and destroying the environment.

This could be the beginning of a movement to eradicate bras from our society. Or, it could be that some lonely twist is laying naked on his basement floor right now with a pile of bras on top of him. Who knows...