Monday, November 3, 2008

Voter Turnout Could Exceed 126%

Secretary of State Susan Bysiewicz has issued a prognostication that voter turnout for Election Day tomorrow could be over 90% or registered voters. There doesn't seem to be a real basis in actual fact for that assessment, and I think she's low-balling!

I mean, after all, we're not counting all of those dead people her office failed to purge who have been consistent voters only upon their deaths. And we haven't even begun to tap into any of the duplicate or fallacious voters conjured up by the folks at ACORN.

No, I think we could end up getting 126% turnout at the polls!

The much-celebrated optical scan machines will get their first really big play this election. I'm sure that heavily increased voter turnout including dead and fictitious people, coupled with elderly people who are trying to accidentally vote for Pat Buchanan will cause no difficulty whatsoever at the polls.

Apparently there is some pride in the fact that 250 college-aged folks have been added to the ranks of poll workers for tomorrow, replacing those who were an average age of 72. So, the scent of mothballs at the polls will be replaced with the scent of vodka and Red Bull.

So... add the following to your Election Day recipe... fraudulent ACORN voters, non-purged dead people who have voted only after they died, high voter turnout, and college-aged (not college kids... college-AGED kids) into the mix... I'm sure everything will go smoothly tomorrow.

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