Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Anus Detonates

Usually I'm not so blunt, but Jim Calhoun is an asshole. So much in fact, that he doesn't even deserve a clever twist of phrase or humorous subtlety to expound on the notion.

Ken Krayeske, the "reporter" asking the question to Calhoun was definitely asking a question that was a little inappropriate at the venue. We have come to expect little propriety from Krayeske at this point though, have we not? Regardless of the timing, Calhoun's reaction is disgraceful, ignorant and shows us the tender pink parts of him we have all come to know and love.

There are state employees making a sliver of his massive $1.6 million salary who are taking unpaid furlough days because of the budget deficit, and the arrogance with which he dispatched the suggestion of his giving anything back in this time of crisis is vulgar.

Calhoun is a terrific liberal Democrat who certainly can't part with one thin dime of his money seeing as he donates so much of it to Democratic candidates.

I would like to close the deficit with his $1.6 million salary,and we could fill the rest of the gap with his massive unweildy and unattractive head.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Let Him Starve

I am getting fatigued hearing about inmate William Coleman and his retarded hunger strike. Coleman, convicted of rape, wants to be able to put on his hunger strike in protest of his conviction. He claims that being force-fed violates his human rights.

This is the kind of senseless idiocy that, when given credence by the media, becomes blown out of all proper proportion. As a result, we've given him a larger stage and a greater platform to get attention than ever before. He deserves to be ignored. He isn't a human rights poster boy!

I wanted to gag the other evening watching on the news as this ass clown testified with damp eyes about his human rights being violated as officials force fed him nourishment through a tube so he wouldn't die.

Where was his concern for human rights when he was raping his victim? He didn't seemed too concerned about such rights then. He complained about the pain he felt as they inserted a nasogastric tube into his nose to feed him. It's not nearly so bad or repulsive a thing as what he inserted into his victim. If they really wanted to give him a personal violation on par with what put him in prison they would feed him through his backside using a traffic cone.

If this man wants to starve himself to death, let him. Haven't they heard we have a budget deficit?


I can't wait to see what my great great great grandchildren bought me last night!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Office of the Ass Advocate

CT News Junk reports on an incredible legislative proposal for people who need to be able to use the crapper in retail stores.

Evidently there are horrible disorders where people spontaneously get bowel cramps and discharge diarrhea uncontrollably. They have names like "irritable bowel syndrome", "Crohn's Disease" and "ulcerative colitus." These are positively nasty illnesses, and I certainly don't wish them on anyone.

Advocates of the bill are seeking to force retail stores that don't have public restrooms to allow people who suffer from these kinds of illnesses to use their employee bathrooms. If you suddenly have to pound one out in a Target, they'd better toss open the door for you!

Alright... so now the possibility of soiling yourself while browsing at Ann Taylor is a serious enough issue where the government needs to step in.

The question I have is, how do you establish that you are one of these people who have a gastrointestinal disorder and would be permitted this special access under the law? Does the state issue you a Gastrointestinal Distress ID card? Perhaps, to protect the rights of these people, we need an Office of the Ass Health Advocate. I can only imagine the parking pass you would get issued!

Look, I have sympathy for these people, but if I had these problems, I would either slap on a diaper when I had to shop, or shop on the Internet on my laptop while I was sitting on the bowl. I would most certainly NOT cross my legs at The GAP, wave my Gas/Ass ID card in front of the clerk's face and demand admittance to foul up the employee restroom.

But I guess it's not a new concept. According to the piece in News Junk, this legislation floated around the Capitol for a couple years and stands a chance of being passed this year.

Rosa for Health and Human Services

The Obama administration has compiled an excellent record thus far of vetting its appointments. The same man who had the temerity to criticize how John McCain had vetted Sara Palin now has had numerous appointments tank because they had nasty secrets. A significant portion of the these folks had serious tax delinquencies.

It is difficult to imagine how that could be when Joe Biden himself declared it to be patriotic to pay more taxes!

At any rate, the latest candidate to shit his political bed is Tom Daschle, the former Senate Democratic leader, who was Obama's initial pick to become Secretary of Health and Human Services. Obviously, in Obama's continued implementation of change, he picked yet another withered politico who spent decades in Washington. His large unpaid tax bill caused his withdrawal. No word on Vice President Biden making any remarks on his being un-American.

Despite no evidence to support it, there is now speculation that Obama may select US Rep. Rosa DeLauro of Connecticut's 3rd District to serve in the post.

Has DeLauro been approached by Obama? No. Has DeLauro approached Obama? No. Has there been any communication between the two on the subject, or inquiry by the administration? No.

But she did apparently let Rahm Emanuel stay at her Washington residence, so she MUST be under consideration.

This is the second round of unfounded spin propagated by the legitimate media as well as the Connecticut's liberal blogosphere to attempt to promote DeLauro.

She's been working hard on the peanut scare! This qualifies her apparently.

And she may or may not be qualified for the post. But I think someone whose visage could make milk curdle should not be responsible for the agency that combats foodborne illness.

I think these liberals are drinking too much Romulan ale.