Monday, May 19, 2008

The Dickmobile

According to an AP article, Attorney General Dick Blumenthal is giving up his gas-guzzling Ford Crown Victoria as gas prices approach $4 a gallon.


According to the article, Dick Blumenthal claims that he asked DAS for a hybrid a number of times, but DAS says that never happened. Regardless, he will now be ditching the Crown Vic.

Blumenthal modestly pointed out that "Of all the distinctions that I have as a constitutional officer, the first to drive a hybrid will be a noteworthy one."

Indeed it will. Blumenthal is a skinny man but he leaves a gigantic carbon butt-print. He apparently clocks in 7,000 miles per month. As we all know, when he isn't driving to court, he is hoofing it all over the state to congratulate garden clubs and award Cub Scouts their wolf badges. Those miles build up.

And now, he will drive an automobile commensurate with the dignity he commands... a NyQuil cup with tires.

Should the vehicle need a lube job, Blumenthal can save the state further funds by rubbing his slickered scalp all over the car's engine block.

4 comments:

cttaxed.com said...

That is about 322 miles a business day, and at 60 miles / hour equals 5 hrs a day in the car.

Huh? What is this man being paid for?

What business is he really in?

Judy Aron said...

Nevermind - he even uses the limo to drive him over to the Taking Care Center in Hartford where he swims laps while his driver waits in the car.
You think the man could walk there from his office?

mccommas said...

Funny that most of us tade in our cars without issueing press releases? Not Dick!

Its been said before and its worth saying again -- The most dangerous place to stand is between Dick and a microphone or TV cammera.

J Chiles Esq said...

Kudos! Since the "slickered scalp" is most likely organic, im sure we will soon see the AG riding a bio-fueled moped.