Sharkey-Infested Waters

It has taken him a decade to get there, but House Democrats have anointed Brendan Sharkey as the new Democratic House Majority Leader.  I couldn't ask for a more aptly named individual to lead the dead-eyed chum-chewing cold-bloods that make up the House Democratic caucus.

Indeed, this caucus tastes the blood of the taxpayer in the water, and is coming in for a feeding frenzy.  As Sheriff Brody said, "we're going to need a bigger boat."

Mr. Sharkey has been the chief proponent of "smart growth" (when politicians call something "smart," you know damned well it's retarded), and he has advanced a policy of regionalization.  Regionalization is, in essence, the robbing of local communities to make decisions for themselves, combining emergency response, schools and other government resources together to "save money."

Of course, it doesn't save the taxpayers money...  most will pay more.  It saves the state money in funding to the communities, so they can lard up some other pet projects.

The bottom line in regionalization is that it also allows the cities to benefit from suburban taxpayers to fund all their government projects in a giant collective.  If you moved to a nice suburb because you thought the town's education was first rate for your children...  bam... they're in school with inner city kids in a regional school where the dropout rate will get jacked, and your child's academics and college plans will suffer.

He will still be second fiddle to Speaker Donovan.  But there can be no question - no matter how dim he is, he will come off looking like a genius when held next to outgoing Majority Leader Denise Merrill, who has been rewarded for her stupidity and mismanagement by being given a job that we apparently expect to be done by dummies- the Secretary of State's office.

So what will the new Sharkey regime look like?  Will they still play computer solitaire during House debates on the budget?  Will they still put off the pressing questions of our age to handle Power Ball, frog dissection, and guaranteeing your right to use an employee toilet when your IBS acts up in a Sports Authority?

He may be a shark...  but he will need to have the power to raise a caucus that has flopped lower than whale shit.