Monday, October 22, 2007

The D-Cup Caper

About 50 bras were stolen last week from a Victoria's Secret Store in Fairfield. That's almost enough bras to cover all the boobs that occupy the Connecticut General Assembly.

From the Connecticut Post:

Lt. Michael Walsh said the bras, of the brassiere variety, were valued at a total of about $4,000 — the third such theft at the store in three weeks.

On Oct. 11, Victoria's Secret reported the theft of seven to eight drawers full of reversible bras, with a total value of $2,500, and Oct. 5, the lingerie store reported the theft of 100 bras, from its pink collection, valued at $4,000, police said.

I wasn't really aware of advent of reversible bras. Thank God this hasn't come into vogue for men's underpants. Of course, in college I knew some people who didn't feel underwear was dirty until you had used both sides.

Anyway, the theft of these bras is clearly a series of anti-breast hate crimes, and I expect the General Assembly to ge to work immediately, increasing the penalties for bra-related crimes.

Or perhaps I have it all wrong... perhaps this is the work of fanatic feminist leftists who still adhere to the notion that if you wear a bra, you're somehow killing trees and destroying the environment.

This could be the beginning of a movement to eradicate bras from our society. Or, it could be that some lonely twist is laying naked on his basement floor right now with a pile of bras on top of him. Who knows...


Judy Aron said...

Could be the bra thieves will scalp these bras for as much money as Hannah Montana Tickets.

mccommas said...

I think there are A LOT more than 50 boobs in the General Assembly -- most of them being male.

Headless Horseman said...

Don't forget... each bra covers two... so that's almost all the boobs in the House anyway...