Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Here Comes Visine Legislation

Apparently a student at the Oxford Academy of Hair Design in Seymour has been taken into custody after she dumped some Visine into an instructor's water bottle.

She meant to put the Visine in another student's bottle, intending to give that individual the 'ol craps and cramps.
According to the New Haven Register Olga Louniakova, 22 of East Haven was charged with attempted second-degree assault, reckless endangerment and threatening. No one drank the tainted water, as other students observed the tampering.
Evidently the act was inspired by the movie "Wedding Crashers" where Owen Wilson puts Visine in the glass of an antagonist to lay him up with diarrhea. Since seeing this movie, I did wonder if this would actually work. According to the article, the results could be far worse.
Poisoning someone with Visine constricts blood vessels, and act as a depressant, lowering blood pressure, and causing a coma-like state.
That's obviously bad. So now, do not be surprised if you see Democrats in the state legislature introduce some sort of proposal to regulate Visine, or ban movies that contain sinister pranks in them that, if repeated, could cause injury to someone.
Doubt me? Just wait...

2 comments:

mccommas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mccommas said...

I was in the supermarket the other week. I was suffering from a terrible cold. I bought Nite quil and was at the self check out.

The computer went on red alert when I scanned the item. The girl who was busy waiting on other customers had to come over and override the computer so I could continue.

She took me at my word that I was over 18.

So I guess your Visine will be a controlled substance list next.

What about rat poison? Can just anyone buy that stuff? There needs to be a law!