Friday, July 25, 2008

The Age of the Estro-Gent

Turns out there is some research that backs up something I long ago instinctively knew all along... the liberal, eco-geek, soy-sucking man has low testosterone and higher rates of infertility.

That's right... this medical study reveals that the sensitive, soy-eating man has a much lower sperm count than men who do not eat soy. What should be particularly alarming to leftwing bloggers is the part that notes this trend increases with obesity.

Maybe it's a vicious cycle... the liberal man wants to be sensitive, won't eat meat so he increases his soy intake... which in turn lowers his sperm count, makes him run a few quarts low on testosterone, and he suddenly gets a lot more sensitive. Probably gets tender nipples too.

This perhaps sheds more light on the Oxygen Network coming to Connecticut... an estrogen-soaked cable station that produces the kind of movies and programming watched mostly by Ben and Jerry's-spooning, post-break up women sitting home alone on a Saturday night in a bathrobe.

Anyway, to my fat liberal blogging friends... please keep eating that soy... you soy boys are the true Estro-Gents. As your political food-choices increase your impotence, natural selection has a shot.


mccommas said...

I cringe at "food" like that. I mean picture a screaming woman up on a chair while a mouse runs around it. That’s me and artificial food.

Tofu -- If its not meat, what is it??!!

My Dad cooked up some veggie hot dogs for my vegetarian-uncle and it got gross blisters on them. It was one of the foulest things I have ever seen. It reminded me of a dead human body.
If anyone tricks me into eating one of those abominations, there is going to be some serious trouble.

Headless Horseman said...

So... no Tofurkey at Thanksgiving in the McCommas household!

robertnevin said...

Speaking as a former Nutmeg and an unregenerate Estrogent, I want you to know I'll be slurping soy milk and chomping tofu on election night when Barack Obama marches to victory.

And while you are in your kitchen, wielding a paring knife and a pair of tweezers, in a bid to become the ball-less, headless horseman, I'll be spooning up some Cherry Garcia to go with my veggie burger!


Headless Horseman said...

Mr. Neven,

I have no doubt of your avid soy consumption, especially if you intend to spoon Jerry Garcia. I am sure you will appreciate each other's tender breasts.

I hope he remembers to cuddle you after that. I know ladies like that.