Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Danbury Mall Santa Groped

Usually parents are concerned about the men who dress up as Santa in malls, and allowing their children to sit on the lap of a weird stranger in a red velvet suit. However, it appears that in some cases, it's Santa Claus who has to protect the family jewels from the people who sit on his lap.

Sitting on Santa's lap apparently turned into a lap dance or something akin to it in Danbury. The AP reports that a Danbury Fair Mall Santa was "groped" by a 33-year-old woman identified as Sandrama Lamy. From the AP:

Danbury police were called to the mall over the weekend. The mall Santa told them Lamy had touched him inappropriately while sitting on his lap.

``The security officer at the mall said Santa Claus has been sexually assaulted,'' Danbury Detective Lt. Thomas Michael said.

Capt. Bob Myles said police were able to quickly find and identify Lamy because she was on crutches.

On crutches? Oh no! It's like a perverted Tiny Tim!

Police aren't releasing the real name of the Santa Claus who was assaulted, but Lamy has been charged with 4th degree sexual assault and has been released with a promise to appear in court January 3rd.

If this is a first offense the whole thing should be over in time for her to go grab the Easter Bunny's ass this Spring.


Fly to the right said...

Every guy I know has been trying to be groped by anonymous women for years. Is Santa gay- not that there is anything wrong with that. He does have a unique way of penetrating his way down small dark areas and those reindeer- how fashionable.

Headless Horseman said...

Santa Baby!

I don't think Santa is gay, but he is definitely a liberal. He gives away stuff that other people worked to build for free so long as he approves with your behavior, has long hair and a beard like Jerry Garcia, and is evidently Canadian.