Black Friday

Christmas shopping can really piss me off. I know that's not jolly or festive to say, but let's be honest here. The most wonderful time of the year is the most frustrating time of the year.

On this day across America, overweight moms in sweatpants converge on our stores and malls, ram carriages against each other like animals competing in a mating ritual, while dragging their snot-nosed crying children all over the place, many of whom have nasty tubercular coughs, or pick their noses and wipe it on goods we are expected to purchase.

Thanks to I don't know who, we can now buy Christmas decorations at our local stores before the summer is even over. The last thing I want to think about on Labor Day is Christmas, but walk into a CVS, and there all there all the holiday crap is.

I happen to like Christmas very much. It's a special season that I hope everyone enjoys. There's only one group of people I hope has a shitty Christmas; the assholes who banned the Boy Scout collection boxes for our troops in the town of Cambridge Massachusetts. These people aren't likely to believe in Christmas anyway.

At any rate, if you are going to brave the sinister Black Friday mobs at stores, I wish you Godspeed in your endeavor. Take care, and try to come back in one piece!